Those Closest Think The Lowest

Of me, that is.... I am pretty sure those who I am closest to are the people whom have the lowest opinions of me, and perhaps they should, considering they know the most and the worst of me. That's the power best friends have: they know the worst of you yet they still choose to spend time with you and enjoy that. But what always comes to mind when I think of this is that what others think of you truly does not matter, the judgment others impose on you is completely irrelevant in regards to the outcome of your situations, so long as you let it be. I hear the things people say to me about the fact that I'm not in school, the side comments people make, the judgment they pass despite not knowing why I have in fact made this decision, and I understand that they do not understand. That is key in letting these things pass right through I understand that they do not understand. I have found that personal thought processes are so unique that it is nearly impossible to share it exactly and perfectly with another person (at least my own thought processes, and I assume this is just a part of being a human). I understand that they do not understand, and that is why I do not take to heart the side comments and somewhat pretentious attitudes my best friends have when they remember that I am not currently in school.

When I talk about my break from school to friends outside of these "best friends" I mention, every single person I've talked to about it is very understanding about it because most of them have done it themselves... Either that, or they are more open minded about taking a break from the lifelong educational rotation that is public school... Or maybe they're just being nice and think the same things my close friends do... I'd like to think it's the first two. But, either way, I understand that they do not understand the thoughts that go through my brain. It's like fasting from school, because the longer I am out of school, the stronger my hunger is to learn. I have never been so hungry for schooling and fresh knowledge on all things. I can not wait to start with a fresh slate and learn how to learn again. These are the thoughts that I'm not sure one would understand unless he/she/you ever experience it yourself.

It is sometimes hard to explain things to people, but perhaps that's when it is best not to.